heartcramp: Look, if you nicely tell me that swearing makes you uncomfortable and you politely ask me not to, I will stop immediately and speak nicer than a nun. But if you start acting like you’re on some fucking high horse, or telling me that I’m going to Hell for talking the way that I do and you can’t “be around that kind of language” then you can bet your motherfuckin’ ass that I’ll be...
hannibalthecanibal: and here we have harry potter literally standing on a pile of letters to try and catch one that is still in the air. there are clearly reasons why he doesn’t get sorted into ravenclaw
teawithaview: Have you ever started to check your tumblr in the middle of getting dressed and half an hour later you’re still standing in your underwear with one sock on and also 15 minutes late.
Tumblr: Only a heartless person would scroll pa-
Me: *Scrolls past*
theyellowbrickroad: money doesnt buy happiness but i cant say id be upset in the least bit if i suddenly inherited 5 million dollars
manicpixiedeathbitch: Harry Potter and the voldemort can u not with the stone Harry Potter and the voldemort can u not with the chamber Harry Potter and the voldemort can u not with the dementors Harry Potter and the voldemort can u not with the triwizard tournament Harry Potter and the voldemort can u not with the returning Harry Potter and the voldemort can u not with the creepy...
victor hugo: *writes fifty pages about the history of the parisian sewer system*
victor hugo: *writes seven chapters about the landscaping and daily routine of a convent*
victor hugo: enjolras doesn't need a first name
mini-slashthegreat: thepreciousthing: adire-adire: victorysunshine: goldfish-kisses: geek-in-a-box: martiemcfly: WHY ARENT THERE ADULT-SIZED PLAYGROUNDS LIKE EVERYTHING IS THE SAME AS A KIDS PLAYGROUND BUT BIGGER WHY DO WE NOT HAVE THOSE theme parks. just. theme parks. but u have to pay for theme parks that’s the adult part son of a bitch ladies and gentlemen, behold ...
run-cause-hitler: enayalate-h8-this-year: bbanditt: slett: winchestercodependency: ibecameacat: what if all your fingers just turned into tongues… like what would you even do dude people with vaginas would have the best time getting off “People with vaginas” what are those called again I can’t remember this is what yahoo payed 1.1billion dollars for
trillow: i got 99 problems and i can’t remember any of them so i guess that makes a hundred
best-of-funny: playmelikeyourstratovarius: zuky: mishachu: funeralfrost: Tim Burton should just make a movie called ‘Johnny Depp’. starring helena bonham carter as johnny depp Co-starring Johnny Depp as Helena Bonham Carter. in claymation X
afraidofvirginiawoolf: zillyhookah: ” your otp is what you are subconsciously looking for in a relationship “ #ohhh you mean never being canon thats great thanks
i-was-so-alone-and-iou-so-much: vangoghstars: sparkafterdark: glamour-parade: How do you politely tell someone that you want them naked on top of you I’m pretty much positive that’s why poetry was even invented in the first place. for the constellations of your skin to brush against the earth of mine i would swim the seas a thousand times (please let’s fuck now) That was...
thecityofpawnee: you know you watch too many tv shows when it’s stressful thinking about how much you have to catch up on
lusture: lusture: omg I’m at work and a group of like 13 year old girls come in and order their lattes or whatever and one girl is like can you Instagram this with all our names on it? and her friend is like ya totally and so I may have put a q in the middle of all of their names so they got their coffee and were like “omg what the hell we can’t take a picture of this” Im literally the worst...
pokemon-personalities: a moment of recognition for those ships you shipped before you knew what shipping was
unicornmunch: here’s a list of what i’d like to do with you: hug go on walks while holding hands smile kiss cuddle have cute little dates have movie nights take adorable pictures go new places try new things fall in love brutally fuck you look at the stars do everything i was ever scared to do alone.
askgeorgebush: have you ever just wanted to bitch and whine about shit you have to put up with but everyones already putting up with three times the amount of bullshit you are so you just sort of feel bad for even considering complaining at all
extrasad: i really wanna kiss you and be cute with you and fall asleep in your arms and go on stupid dates but i also sort of want to light you on fire and throw myself into traffic so idk
medivision: no matter who u follow somehow doctor who sherlock & supernatural always end up on ur dash
z1c: being 20+ on tumblr
into-the-snogbox: pingustolemysanity: imagine-your-fav-character: Imagine your favorite character barging into your room this moment, grabbing your hand, and taking you with them into their world Lets be honest though most of us would be dead within a week But it would be a bloody brilliant week
bibliobimbo: in my house there are only two water temperatures: winter is coming and fire cannot kill a dragon
sunshineface0014: assbutt-in-the-garrison: I need my glasses to find my glasses do you see my problem You can’t even see your problem
nannajane: in 7 years its going to be the 20s again so we can bring back swing music and the aesthetics of that era but keep modern values who’s with me
thedelightwoods: everything is all good and okay until a tfios post appears on my dash and makes me cry
once-upon-a-painting: I fell in love like falling down the stairs: painfully.
iiiilkmays: every boy wants a good girl to be bad just for him and every girl wants a bad boy to be good just for her
Dumbledore: Welcome back to another year of Hogwarts!
Dumbledore: I actually don't know why your parents still send you here
Dumbledore: There's like a 30% chance you'll die tragically
Dumbledore: And it just goes up every year
Dumbledore: I guess that just means all your parents hate you
Dumbledore: Great let's have some pumpkin juice
Dumbledore: 30 points go to Griffindor for Harry's breathing techniques